Banned a woman from the bar tonight. I’m sorry I won’t over serve you?

"I spilled my completely full drink all over your counter can I have a new one?"
Shit Customers Say
"Put that thing back where it came from or so help me, SO HELP ME!"
Mike Wazowski and every service industry person ever

This is not your house. Please stop moving the furniture around like you live here.

I did not give you honey so that you could pour it all over the table.

"I made you coffee."
Beautiful things people say to me.

You don’t want to be the customer the workers hate seeing walk through the door.


"tea is just leaf water!" "yeah well coffee is just bean water!" wow, it’s. it’s like everything is made of things. this door is just wood rectangle. this poster is just ink paper. this lemonade is just lemon water. wow, it’s like you can combine ingredients to make things that are more enjoyable than the initial parts of the equation. sure is a magical world we live in

Lord grant me the coffee to deal with customers I cannot change.

I still don’t understand why people don’t push in their chairs when they leave.


It’s a rare customer that can realize that it’s inappropriate to whine to their morning barista about how tired they are because they had to be up at 6 am. I’m here, in my apron, smiling and cheerful. My alarm goes off at 4 am and I haven’t had my coffee either.


"This tastes like water"

That’s because you’re drinking skim milk.

There is such a thing as a stupid question.

I’m sorry we aren’t open until 7am. If you want coffee before that you can make it at your own house.