People who pour sugar into their coffee without tasting it first are the same as those who pour salt onto their food without tasting it.

Last night I walked in to three two tops, two eight tops, and two four tops, all arriving at 5:30pm for dinner. With two servers and no bartender.


What I’d like to say to some customers. ☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️


What I’d like to say to some customers. ☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️

People who genuinely feel bad about spilling their drink are so sweet.

You’re never in the weeds if you don’t give a shit

  • Me: Good afternoon, how are you?
  • Customer:
  • Me: -does back flips-
  • Customer:
  • Me: -dances with a top hat-
  • Customer:
  • Me: -swallows fire-
  • Customer:
  • Me: ...alright here are your menus.


To the sir who puts his dishes right NEXT to the dishtub but never IN the dishtub: I hate you.

I don’t understand the people who treat those who prepare their FOOD badly.


if you think it’s degrading to work in retail remember that voldemort worked at borgin and burkes before he became the dark lord

  • waitress: i'm sorry we're all out of mozzarella sticks
  • waitress: sir please stop cyring
  • Server: Jasmine tea to table 17, no honey.
  • Table 17: Do you have honey?
  • Customer: How are you so thin?
  • Me: Genetics. here are your menus.



Public Service Announcement: Tell me what size you want when you order.

fucking yes